One of the most challenging—and unanticipated—parts of being a parent can be telling your children about an upcoming divorce. When you and your spouse plan to split, it is vital to inform your children before they hear from other people. The news will be upsetting no matter what, but it is always for the best for the children to hear this possibly devastating news from you.
Learn below about how to tell your children about the divorce. If you need legal assistance, the divorce lawyers in Arlington at Orsinger, Nelson, Downing & Anderson can help you.
Make A Plan About What You Will Say
Psychology Today writes that the first step is to plan what you will tell your children about the impending split. When you know whether it will be a divorce or just a trial separation, you should inform them before they hear it through other family or friends.
Imagine how devastating it would be to your child if they heard about the divorce at school because one of their friends heard it from their parent who heard it from their friend who heard it from you. This will be an emotional conversation, even if not an outwardly emotional one, and children usually remember this conversation forever. So you and your partner should discuss how and where to tell them. Many experts advise not telling the kids near a significant holiday or another large family even, to avoid the future association of that holiday with the divorce
Tell The Kids Together
If you are experiencing a difficult divorce, telling your children about the separation from your partner can be challenging. Before anyone else finds out, both parents should tell their children—even if it has to be individually. If the children are far apart in age, share the basic divorce information in a larger group. Then, you and your partner can have an extended conversation with the older children who are more likely to understand what is going on.
Do Not Assign Blame
Under many circumstances, it is understandable if you blame your partner for the split. However, it is a mistake to blame your spouse in front of the kids. Whatever the reason for the divorce, it is never okay to blame the other person in front of the kids—and courts frown upon this during a future divorce case.
The idea behind telling your kids about the divorce is to give them reassurance and support that they are loved by you both. That conversation is not to make you feel better by venting about how terrible your husband or wife is to someone who probably still respects that other person. Instead, you can say that you and your partner are not happy together, that you are better apart, and that you want to move forward in a way that is best for everyone.
Reassure Them
Children—especially those in their pre-teen years—need reassurance that the split is not their fault. All children want to know how the divorce will affect their lives. You can tell them that a parent will not live in the home, but they will still have friends and regular activities. Also, unless there is some strong reason why it is unlikely to happen, reassure them that they will see both parents regularly.
Contact Divorce Lawyer In Arlington Today
One of the most challenging parts of a divorce is how it affects the children, and discussing the divorce with the children. Not only do you need to figure out contentious child custody issues, but you also must worry about how the split will affect the children’s lives and development.
The divorce lawyers in Arlington at Orsinger, Nelson, Downing & Anderson can help you deal with child custody and other challenging aspects of your divorce. Our attorneys serve the cities of Dallas, Frisco, and San Antonio. Please contact our Arlington divorce lawyers at (214) 273-2400.